The Price of a White Christmas

So there are some things that are really cool about a white Christmas:
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-Your brother might do something crazy...

















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...like jump on the trampoline...






















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...in his shorts...






















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-Everything around the house looks amazing...






















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...especially when the blizzard is blowing snow...

















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Unfortunately, these kind of blizzards can lead to cabin fever...






















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...family that can't get home for Christmas, and obnoxiously slow-loading blogs.

Enjoy your white Christmas if you have it, and enjoy your family actually being there if you don't!

When Capitalism Works

Today I volunteered to have my flight to Colorado for Christmas bumped back one day. Amount I was reimbursed: $400 voucher towards a plane ticket, $90 hotel stay, $26 in meal vouchers. I believe that's the most I've ever earned in a day!

How to Make a Good Landing

Be sure you evenly distribute the weight onto both wings of the aircraft

If there's one thing harder than landing on a rough back-country airstrip, it's landing on a rough back-country airstrip in a tractor plane with four of your friends holding on for dear life --- especially when you aren't in the cockpit. So I've developed a foolproof method to land in the most rugged terrain, even when your friends are hanging on the wings like a pack of apes:

1. Scream. It always seems to even out the group's collective anxiety level. If you're getting scared, so should everyone else.

2. Deflate your tires. Or in this case, take them completely off. Usually the friend that's hanging closest to the landing gear can reach down there and remove them comfortably in flight (if you forgot to do this before you took off).

3. Balance the weight of your entire party on the aircraft. If one of your passengers hops on the right wing, hop on the left wing. This is just common sense.

4. Take it slow. The slower your landing, the better the pictures come out later.

5. Use your flaps. Here, for instance, you and your friends' legs act as the plane's control surfaces. So stick out your legs and start moving (note: swimming flippers come in useful at this time as well).

This kind of landing obviously takes some practice, but with these tips you'll be well on your way to being the best bush pilot out there.

Raising Awareness of our Awareness

Today I'm committed to raising awareness that we have enough awareness-raising campaigns. How much more information do Americans need to have before we help someone? How many more people do we need to interview to before we do something? How many more books do we need to read? The more news Americans get about people dying and starving in some third-world country, the more we callous our feelings to the brutalities of life.

Our issue isn't a lack of information, it's a lack of care.

I'll take one person who actually does something to help in a crisis over a dozen who "raise awareness" from the comfort of their computer chair.

Jazz

"These artists," my Jazz in America professor declared, "brought Postmodernism into the realm of Jazz. By looking to earlier pieces and interpreting them in different ways, they were pushing the limits of artistic expression even further than before."

My professor was arguing that Jazz had become Postmodern, and therefore "different" Little of what he said was a declaration of right and wrong... it was mostly just "different". That day in class, I discovered how Postmodernism entered not only Jazz, but the Bible as well.

The connection between Postmodernism, Jazz, and the Bible is difficult to see, but let's look first at the root of the problem: the synthesis viewpoint. Instead of clearly defining art and claimed fact, we became lazy and decided to label the Bible as art. Of course, the Bible is art, but it is also much more. It contains claims of fact (Jesus was born in Bethlehem, Noah built an ark, etc.), and not just poetic maxims. Put another way, art and claims of fact are intertwined in the Bible, but we got sloppy and started calling it all art. We synthesized art and claims of fact, because we didn't want to deal with the details.

But then came a new artistic school of thought --- Postmodernism. Now art could be redone in interesting and different ways. This is the relatively benign side of Postmodernism, because art --- in and of itself --- is neither moral nor immoral. Jazz might sound good to one person, and bad to another, but a combination of notes is not intrinsically good or bad. This is just preference.

The problem, however, is that this rationale was applied to everything defined as art. Since we had squeezed the Bible into the same overarching definition as Jazz, we could treat them in similar ways. We could redo a Jazz piece until it sounded nothing like the original, just as we could reinterpret a Bible passage until it was dissected beyond recognition. After all, if both Jazz and the Bible are both simply "art" and nothing else, then we can redo them so they sound good to today's tastes.

But the Bible is something else. After a few years, we had forgotten about the Bible's claims of fact. Actually, we went a step further in our reinterpreting, this time purposefully reinterpreting the definition of art to include the whole of the Bible --- including its claims of fact. Thus, we sealed the argument shut, paving the last brick of logic on a road of circular reasoning.

Once we connected Postmodernism, art (represented here by Jazz), and the Bible, we had free reign to subject the Bible to our preferences. We saw no difference between ignoring the Bible and deciding not to attend a concert. Both actions, in our minds, reflected personal preference and nothing more. What were morals? We thought of people making moral claims in regard to life's decisions like we thought of people making moral claims about which combination of notes is better. They were "moldy figs," and would simply have to adapt to society's changing preferences.

The church is partially to blame for this comparison. How many times have we heard congregations claim things like, "I can't believe they're playing rock music... in church!" We stroke our musical style of preference to the point where we say other genres are morally wrong. WE might think it's wrong to use a guitar, or a banjo, or a sax, or an organ in church music, and we'll go as far as splitting a church over a musical genre. I've heard it countless times:
"That music is too loud!"
"Didn't the music today sound... old?"
"Ugh, the church shouldn't give in to the world by using their beats."

Give me a break! Rarely do I hear something like:
"That song taught the wrong message," or
"That song contradicts the Bible in this verse here."

One side has constrained the Bible to the definition of art. The other has claimed moral superiority simply by timbre and rhythm.

Both sides have obscured the truth.

Do you think you're above all this musical judgment? Let time prove it. Most likely, the church will start using rap for its worship songs next. Does that irk you? Maybe you already like rap, so it isn't a problem, but worship leaders will use some style you don't like soon enough. What will you do then?

The 100 Stages of Relationships

Some of you wanted to see this. For those of you that didn't, my apologies. One of my best friends --- Michael Wolford --- and I wrote these stages out last December. Here goes nothing.

The 100 Stages of Relationships
Michael Wolford and Jonathan Schultz

Preface
“I think there are 20 stages to relationships.”
This sentence, uttered by one of author Michael Wolford’s “Interpersonal Communications" classmates, sparked inspiration. “I always thought there were just three,” he replied, “dating, engagement, and marriage.”
Little did he know the depth of relationship stages he had undergone. The stages listed in this publication reflect years of field experience, pick-up lines, shutdowns, and repetition. Read on if you dare.

"Friend of a Friend"
1. Nothing
2. Seeing them on facebook.com
3. Actual visual sighting
4. Getting within 10 yards
5. Asking/paying/threatening a friend to introduce you

Acquaintance
6. Meeting them
7. Changing your routine to “run into them”
8. Paying attention to hygiene (and making sure your fly is up)
9. Practicing conversations
10. Dousing yourself with urine (like a male elk, to smell sweeter to the opposite sex)
11. “Running into” them
12. Talking about school/work/weather (non-meaningful conversation… Boring!!!)
13. Talking about sports and realizing you’re a moron
14. Getting their phone number and waiting at least ten minutes
15. Calling them and hanging up when their dad answers
16. Using a voice-altering machine to leave a voice message
17. Getting their email
18. Flooding their inbox with forwards about “what friends are,” “Touched by an Angel” being canceled, and amputees who will magically get money when you send the forward on, as well as forwards about Microsoft paying $250 for every time the forward is passed on
19. Seeing them somewhere other than work, school or the place you met them
20. Having a mutual acquaintance invite them on a group outing
21. Trying to make them jealous by hanging out with someone else
22. Ignoring them at above group outing
23. Pretending like you didn’t ignore them at above group outing
24. Getting angry when you see someone of your same gender getting within 10 yards of them
25. Sending mixed messages
26. Going on a second group outing with them
27. Approaching them
28. Spitting when you talk
29. Talking to them for more than 1 minute
30. Practicing meaningful, non-spitting conversations
31. Having a meaningful, non-spitting conversation

Friend
32. Personally asking them on a group outing
33. Not asking when their birthday is
34. Missing their birthday
35. Asking when their birthday is, even though someone else told you already
36. Realizing your mistake, and asking what their middle name is
37. Talking about a memory from childhood
38. Asking them to do something cliché, like going out to coffee or the movies JUST THE TWO OF YOU, pretending that somebody else might join you
39. After whittling down the excuses, going on said cliché date

Dating (from the guy's perspective)/"Just friends" (from the girl's perspective)
40. Having an awkward silence
41. Avoiding another awkward silence, resorting to non-meaningful conversation (weather/school/work)
42. Dropping them off without walking them to their door
43. Exercising
44. Buying a book on conversation starters
45. Smiling whenever they look toward you
46. Waving at them when they wave at somebody behind you
47. Downplaying yourself for a second “meeting” (date from guys perspective)
48. They accept your invitation on a second “meeting”
49. Thinking that they like you
50. Becoming overconfident
51. If you go to the same class, looking over their homework and saying it’s “pretty good”
52. Telling them you cried during “A Walk to Remember”
53. Joining their church’s small group
54. Asking them where they see themselves in ten years
55. Suddenly changing your life’s plans when they tell you theirs
56. Noting how much you have in common
57. You both go home for Christmas Break
58. Calling them 2 days late to say "Merry Christmas"
59. Arrange your schedule so you are in at least 1 class together
60. Sitting three seats away in above class
61. Sitting next to them in above class
62. Practicing telling them that you’re interested
63. Getting advice
64. Planning the DTR (Defining The Relationship) conversation
65. Multiple failed attempts at said conversation
66. Having "The Conversation"
67. They say they want to be “just friends”
68. Having no idea what “just friends” means... assuming it’s good, but knowing it’s bad
69. Repeat steps 31-66 until success
70. Talking to her dad about your relationship, and her brother who happens to be a Navy SEAL

REALLY Dating, Possibly Courting (from the guy's perspective)/"Good Friends" (from the girl's perspective)
71. Who knows how but…. SUCCESS!!!
72. Using the word “we” a lot
73. Planning recreation/entertainment together
74. Friends use the word “leash” when talking about you and significant other, especially when they think you aren’t listening
75. Talking about marriage
76. Ring shopping for fun
77. Going to their house for a major holiday
78. Trying to find out their ring size by getting them ski gloves in the heat of summer
79. Realizing ski gloves don’t have a ring size
80. They tell one of their friends their ring size while in next room
81. Paying said informant a hefty sum
82. Working for 2 months to be able to buy a ring
83. Living on ramen noodles
84. Spending 2 months’ salary on a ring
85. Returning said ring
86. Working another month
87. Buying the ring previous informant said was “a better choice”
88. Practicing the official conversations with her parents and herself
89. Asking the parents for their blessing
90. Buying the parents something that costs another month’s salary
91. They grudgingly accept your generous offer
92. Multiple failed proposal attempts
93. Propose

Engagement (from both perspectives)
94. Somehow, she accepts
95. Setting a time/date/budget
96. Working like a banshee
97. Asking people to be your groomsmen/ bridesmaids, and offending all other friends
98. Inviting everyone your immediate family knows
99. Getting slashed with a hockey stick at your bachelor party

Marriage
100! Get married

How Could I Miss That?

Ephesians 2:8-9
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast."

What isn't "of ourselves"?
For years I repeated and regurgitated this verse, missing something just beneath the surface. Previously, I only saw the main thrust of the passage: we aren't saved by our works. This is the very dividing line between Catholic and Protestant doctrine. But there's also something even deeper than that division. It comes out in the phrase "and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God": Is Paul merely saying that grace is not of ourselves? Why would he need to point out something so elementary? By its very definition, grace is not of ourselves. By definition, grace is a gift. What's the point in pointing this basic truth out? Would some people really think that grace was actually of themselves?

Faith not "of ourselves"?
There is another interpretation that Brent Klontz showed me a few months back, which explains this phrase "...and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God..." a little better --- Paul is referring to the faith too! The faith is not of ourselves, it's the gift of God. Try looking at verse 8 again, and see which makes more sense --- grace or both grace and faith:

Interpretation 1
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and [grace is] not of yourselves, [grace] is the gift of God."
Interpretation 2
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and [grace and faith are] not of yourselves, [grace and faith are] the gift of God."

The difference between these interpretations might not seem clear, until you ask an Armenian and a Calvinist how they interpret it. The Armenian thought is reflected in interpretation 1: we're saved by grace, but we still have to muster up the faith to actually trust God. The Calvinist thought is reflected in interpretation 2: we're saved by grace, through faith, but even the faith that we have is God-given. In other words, we wouldn't have believed on our own.

Interpretation 2 is reflected in the very words of Jesus in John 6:44
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who has sent me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day."

This verse alone is not proof of Calvinistic thought, but it is essential to understanding how we were saved in the first place, and its interpretation marks the dividing line between Calvinism and Armenian thought.

The Only Type of Acrobatics I'll Ever Attempt

Jay Pemberton (left) and I stand in front of a Stearman Biplane.
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Jay waits next to the two-seated, upgraded Stearman.
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I got to ride in a Stearman biplane this Friday. We performed "acrobatics not seen since the sea of Chateau" --- or maybe since Thursday. Unfortunately, King Kong was tied up for the weekend, and we didn't have an Empire State Building nearby, so we had to settle for simple loops, rolls, and Cuban 8's.

How to Collect Deer Drool

This weekend some of us Moody students went on a road trip to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, to check out the boardwalk. After rounding the entire boardwalk in about ten minutes, Brian (from California) said what we were all thinking: "Well, that was disappointing." So we went to Canada.

Here are some things we learned about Canada:
1) Canadians supposedly sell milk in a bag.
2) Even Canadians haven't heard of milk in a bag. Maybe it's an Eastern Canada thing.
3) 80 kilometers per hour is 50 miles per hour.
4) Canadian stores do sell in bulk.
5) Canadian border gas stations don't have soap.
6) Most people don't live in igloos in Nelson, Canada.
7) Most people don't live in igloos in Nelson, Canada because the ice would melt whenever they smoke their weed.
8) Turns are easy to miss in Canada.
9) Canadian turns can be taken at 64 kilometers per hour.
10) Canadians do say "eh?"
11) Canadians don't say "hoser."

I also learned some stuff about northern Washington on the way back home:
1) American Border Patrol guards are fairly nice.
2) Black bears like to cross roads near border stations.
3) Black bears don't like to have their picture taken (the same goes for Canadian Border Patrol guards).
4) Animals like to stay near highways in northern Washington.
5) Deer are animals.
6) Deer have bad traction on highways.
7) Deer make a "thud" sound when hitting your driver's side door.
8) Contrary to popular belief, a doe can do somersaults.
9) Driver's side doors make a good collection area for deer drool.
10) Deer can jump off into a field within 10 seconds of being hit (they probably don't like to have their picture taken either).

The Day a Grown (Young) Man Cried

Just thought I'd put in a shameless plug for Kristie Braselton's newest CD: "Composition". Her 3rd song on there: "Faith without Fire" is amazing. The song tells the story of Bonnie Codier, evbc's "resident Job," as Kristie says. Bonnie has been in the hospital for months on end... through intense pain and numerous surgeries. When "Faith without Fire" came on and I figured out who the song was about, I cried.

For those of you that know Bonnie's story (which is anybody reading this), please use this link and sign her guestbook.

Then buy Kristie's CD. It's amazing.

God Isn't My Mechanic

A few weeks ago I took my car in to a shop to prepare it for the trip to Washington. The windshield wiper fluid wasn't spraying, among some of the car's minor problems.

"Can you check the wiper fluid spray nozzles, and maybe replace them?" I asked the mechanic at the front desk. He answered with a question: "Have you already checked the fluid levels?"

"Not recently," I replied, turning my keys over, "that could be my problem I guess."

Later that day, I came back to pick up the car, and the same mechanic told me the work they'd performed. When I asked if the fluid sprayed right, he said my wiper fluid reservoir was almost empty, so they had filled it. I didn't really care at the time, because they had done the major work I asked them to do.

A few days later I actually tried spraying my windshield. Lo and behold, the nozzles started to foam like a 4-year-old trying to spit for the first time. Nothing actually hit my windshield. The reservoir was now full, but that still hadn't solved the problem.

I realized the mistake: I told the mechanic my problem, and a possible solution, and he gave me a different possible solution. Instead of trying to fix the problem, he just filled the tank and stopped there. He did exactly what he wanted to do (the easier thing), without solving the problem. He was more interested in trying a solution than in actually fixing what was wrong... and there's a difference.

The point of this illustration is this: don't we ask God to try a solution, rather than fix our problem? It may look something like this: "God, please give me ________, so I can feel better." We may insert a girl, or a better job, or more money, or whatever else into that blank, thinking that it will solve our problem (feeling bad). He may even grant us our prayer, just to show that our "solution" still leaves us empty, sinful, and hurting.

How often are we honest and bold enough to ask, "God, I'm feeling down. Sometimes I'm not even sure what will fix this, but You know. I'm not even sure if feeling better will be the best thing for me right now. All I ask is that You do what's best... and that I take joy in Your solution."

First post...

For those of you that aren't quite addicted enough to reading useless information, here is my blog. Today's post will be a bit short:

I arrived into Spokane safe & sound on Wednesday, August 16. Spokane's weather is beyond compare right now... a perfect respite from Arizona's furnace-like August temperatures. The sky is clear, so I think I'll do some touring around a Japanese garden they have here.

More to come when I have the time/access to a computer again.

-JS