Favorite Aviation Blog: Bush Flying Diaries

Dear Fellow Aviation Junkies,

Recently I've seen a lot of gray weather where I live, which has been a great time to check out other people's blogs.  My brother-in-law told me about a British TV Series called "Worst Place to Be a Pilot" about pilots flying around Indonesia:

From a pilot's perspective, the narration is excessively dramatized, basically listing off the hundreds of ways a person could die in an airplane, so I wouldn't recommend it to people who are already scared of flying in a small plane.  However, the video footage they captured is phenomenal, capturing the thrill of flying in remote settings.

The episode above featured Matt Dearden, who has an excellent aviation blog about flying with Susi Air in Indonesia.  He also has some great GoPro footage from his flights into remote airstrips in Papua, Indonesia.  Check out my personal favorite video below:

"Off Centerline, Correcting"

Runways have centerlines, roads have side stripes.  Many students pilots know this from their first flight lesson, or learn it the first time they start taxiing.  A runway is designed for one aircraft at a time.  There are no "passing lanes" on a runway.  The stripe in the middle doesn't divide traffic landing from opposite directions --- it's a target, a goal.  This difference between roads and runways may seem subtle at first, but it's a clue about a major distinctive of aviation: precision.

Generally, side stripes give us enough distance from other cars.  We can wander around in our lane a fair bit.  Some drivers of average-sized vehicles carelessly drift around in their lanes like a ball thrown by a five-year-old at a bumper bowling alley.  When these types of drivers take flight lessons, they use the entire runway as one giant lane.

Pilots of different airplanes with widely varying wingspans, though, need more precision to safely taxi, take off, land without hitting the obstacles along the sides of their path.  When precise pilots see they're off centerline, they smoothly make the change back toward their target.

Where in life do I wander from side to side?  Where do I need to stop drifting around in my lane, and start correcting back to the centerline?

Proverbs 4:25-27

Chasing Needles

In flight, sometimes I notice a condition that I want to change, like an airspeed that's too slow. That can be a dangerous problem. I can try to change that by pitching down while looking at the airspeed indicator, but most likely I'll end up too fast. Then I pitch up to go slower... but then, too slow. I'm noticing a problem and fixing it as best as I can, but it doesn't work how I'd like. I will usually end up at the other extreme of what I want.

We call this "chasing the needles", because the pilot notices a problem but overreacts to it, making an uncomfortable ride.  If I instead look outside at my airplane's pitch when I adjust it and then let the plane stabilize at the new speed, I'll fly my airspeed much more precisely.

You've seen an extreme that you want to correct, but if your focus is on not doing that extreme, chances are you'll side with the other extreme.  In life, what problems have you tried to correct while looking at the problem, instead of looking at the solution?

Heb. 12:1-2

Spin in a Cessna 172

Flight instructors need to recognize a stall/spin situation, teach their students how to avoid them, and recover from a spin if their student gets them into that situation. In a stall, the angle of attack between the wing and the relative wind becomes too great, and the airflow over the wings separates. A spin happens when one wing stalls more than the other, causing the airplane to rotate and spiral downwards. In the video, the high pitched sound is the stall horn, warning that a stall is about to occur.

Why Missions?

Many Christians recently have emphasized the importance of making disciples in their own towns. This emphasis is terrific, because God wants us to make disciples wherever we are. At the same time, this emphasis is not the whole story. There is definite need for more Jesus-followers to go into cross-cultural missions. Here's the reasoning why I'm training to go as a cross-cultural missionary.

A Few Quick Biblical Reasons for Cross-cultural Missions

• Jesus commanded it. Jesus told his disciples to make other disciples “of all nations” (Matthew 28:19).

• Jesus prophesied about it. Jesus listed the task of preaching the gospel to all nations as a prerequisite to the end times (Mark 13:10). After 2000 years, we have not yet finished that task.

• Jesus will accomplish it. One way or another, a HUGE number of people will be redeemed from every nation, tribe, people, and language (Revelation 7:9-10). God can redeem people from the most remote and most hostile groups without us lifting a finger; however, He allows us and wants us to take part in the rewarding work. We can't bring our possessions with us to heaven, but we can bring people by the thousands. Wouldn't it be awesome to see an entire tribe singing God's praise in Heaven, and know that He used you to invite them?

So what?

Whether you go or stay, there is still work yet to be accomplished. 2000+ people groups still don't have a Bible in their own language, don't have churches, and don't have anybody making disciples. If God is pulling on your heart to change that, follow Him where He leads.

An Update

After two years of flight training, I'm finished with a big requirement for becoming a missionary pilot: I have my commercial pilot's certificate!

One main requirement remains before I can join a missions organization: flight hours. The best way I see to get those flight hours is as a Certified Flight Instructor (CFI) and Certified Flight Instructor – Instrument (CFII). I just finished the ground school class for CFI, and by the time you read this, I should have started my CFI flight training at Moody Aviation. I'm very glad to learn how to instruct from the example of some incredibly skilled and self-sacrificing instructors. Why become a flight instructor?

• Honed training – A better grasp of flying, which can help make me a safer pilot in the remote environments overseas.

• Ability to replace myself – I'll have the chance to pass on what I've learned to future generations of missionary pilots.

• Of course, flight hours – Most missions organizations require 350 – 500 hours minimum. I have 300.

Two Prayer Requests

1. So far, God has provided for every step of the training I've needed. Between financial aid and working in the shop at Moody for about 3 months, I have around 65% of the funds to finish CFI and CFII. Please pray that God continues to provide.

2. Please pray that I grow by investing Christ's love in the people that God brings my way.

A Story of God's Faithfulness

Recently I met a Philippine man by the name of Nard Pugyao, who told me his story:

While Nard was still being formed in his mother's womb, God was calling an 18-year-old young man from Iowa into missions. That young man, Dick Roe, got his linguistic training, traveled to San Fransisco, and took a ship to the Philippines. After a month's ship ride, another week traveling up a river by canoe, and an 8-hour hike, that missionary reached a tiny village where the Isnag people lived. In that village, he met Nard.

The missionary made his best effort to tell the people that he was there to learn their language. They didn't trust him at first, and kept asking him why he had come to their village. Eventually, he knew enough of their words that he was able to communicate that he had come to learn their language and tell them about God. They asked if the missionary's God was powerful, more powerful than the witch doctors and spirits. He told them that God is more powerful.

Eventually, Nard Pugyao received his very first copy of the Gospel of Mark in his heart language. He read the book as quickly as his 13-year-old eyes could scan across the page. When he got to the part about Jesus being betrayed, mocked, and crucified, he wondered what Jesus had done to deserve that kind of punishment. He threw the book on the ground in anger at God.

"Why should I ever believe in You," Nard yelled upwards as he shook his fist in the air, "if you can't even protect Your own Son?"

Nard walked away in disgust, but as he did, God struck his heart with the realization that He did it because He loved Nard so much, and for the first time Nard understood grace. God gave His very Son, His perfect Son, to die in Nard's place, taking Nard's punishment. Jesus hadn't done anything to deserve His death, but He died as a substitution for those who believe in Him for eternal life. Nard was made new that day. And then he read further about the power of the resurrection.

Eventually the missionary said he had to go, which disappointed Nard tremendously. But he told Nard that if he came along and continued to help the missionary with the rest of the translation work, he would pay for Nard's school. Nard did go to school, and later went on to Moody Aviation to become a missionary pilot. He joined Wycliffe bible translators after graduating, and in the mid-1980's, he flew in the first 500 New Testaments to his very own Isnag tribe in the Philippines. Thanks to Dick Roe's willingness to go as a missionary, Nard and others from his tribe believe in Jesus for eternal life.

What if Dick said “No”?

My Recent Events


Flying a Cessna 185!

Currently I'm studying to become a missionary pilot/mechanic, like Nard Pugyao, at Moody Aviation. Last year I finished my Airframe and Powerplant certification in mid-June, which allows me to be an aircraft mechanic. After three weeks of summer break, I started flight school and advanced aircraft maintenance training at Moody. I received my Private Pilot's certificate in January.


Not only do we fly, but we also learn how to fix the aircraft. Here, I'm fixing a fuel leak on a Cessna 185.

Most missionary aviation organizations require that their missionary pilot/mechanics have their 1) Airframe and Powerplant certificate, 2) Commercial Pilot's certificate with Instrument Rating, 3) at least one year of Biblical training, and 4) at least 300-500 flight hours (depending on the organization). Moody trains us for the first three, and we graduate with over 225 of those flight hours as well. Right now I'm in my fourth year of this five-year degree, and I'm very excited that God has brought me this far!

You might be wondering, “why missionary aviation?” There are several reasons, so I'll divide them into 1) why missions?, and 2) why aviation?

First, as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I want to become a missionary because I've been struck with the command that He gave to His first disciples. He commanded them to make more disciples of all nations. “....All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).

Additionally, I want to do intercultural/international missions because Jesus said something very peculiar while He talked about the end times in Mark 13:10: “The gospel must first be preached to all nations.” From the people waiting to hear about real hope in our own cities to a tiny village in Isnag territory in the Philippines, and to the 2,200 people groups left in the world without the gospel in their heart language, there is work to do. I believe that the gospel can be preached to all nations in our lifetime, if God's people are willing to carry that out.

Second, I want to become a missionary pilot in particular because many of those people groups live in incredibly difficult-to-reach places across the globe. Many of those 2,200 people groups haven't heard the gospel because they're in villages like Nard's, where it takes a week by canoe and 8 hours by hiking to even get there, let alone carry anything with you. In Nard's village, that same week-long trek takes 55 minutes by missionary airplane. That can mean the difference between life and death for someone needing medical attention.

Please Pray!

Please pray to the all-powerful God for me as I continue my training. In particular:
1) That God continues to provide financially for me, so I can reach my goal of graduating from Moody Aviation debt-free.
2) That He brings people into my life to minister to, and share the hope that can only come through the gospel.

Flight comes soon, and so do the flight costs

Above: Missionary Aviation students at Moody Bible Institute wheel a Cessna 337 out of a hangar during their airframe maintenance training. By this summer, they should have their Airframe and Powerplant (A&P) mechanics' certificates, but many wonder how they will pay for their upcoming flight training.

July 13th, 2009.
That's the day. The day my class at Moody Aviation begins their last two years of training. That's the day we become flight students.

The men and women in my class have different stories of how they came to Moody, but the end goal is still the same: using a skill to gain access to some of the most rugged and difficult-to-reach places on earth. Their study isn't about finding a remote area where they won't be bothered by people, it's about reaching the people already in those remote areas. Their study is purposeful: reaching unreached people groups with the gospel. Many missionaries living among isolated tribes know the firsthand experience and advantage of a missionary pilot flying them their much-needed supplies and encouragement. Many tribes have heard the good news of Jesus' life and death on their behalf because missionary pilots dared against their own security to reach them. Many lives have been improved, both spiritually and physically, because someone was willing to go. From flying Bibles, translators, and natural disaster victims to cows, missionary pilots' job are about living out the gospel in real, tangible ways. These men and women in my class aim to take the torch and continue that service.



Above: Wai Wai Indians in the northern Brazilian village of Mapuera gather to greet a group of short-term missionaries just moments after they land. This particular village has been particularly well-reached by missionaries, who depend on regular flights of supplies into their remote village.

As the day for our flight training rapidly approaches, each of us is also counting the cost. Flying across rugged or remote terrain is much more time-efficient than the alternatives (especially crucial with medical emergencies), but the flight training is expensive. We're still not sure on the details, but we've heard up to $35,000 each year for the next two years of flight school. That doesn't include living expenses.

While some might see the looming bills on the horizon as an insurmountable barrier for someone that wants to go into this type of ministry, especially with our economy being as rocky as it has been, I prefer to see this as an opportunity for God to come through in ridiculous ways. Each one of my classmates is facing this obstacle, but that means each one of us is getting ready to see God do something amazing.

Would you pray a bold prayer, that God would provide for my class's upcoming expenses in this rough economic time?

If you could explain one thing to the opposite sex...

DISCLAIMER: This is intended to be a helpful learning experience for guys and girls. If you want to bash each other, your comments will be deleted.

If you could explain one thing to the opposite sex, what would it be? What would be helpful for the other gender to know?

I'll start it off.

Guys find it incredibly attractive when a girl admires and respects them. This is part of our downfall, because we're vulnerable to flattery. If you respect something about a guy, encourage him! If he enjoys something manly, appreciate it!

For example, I was at a couple's house right as the husband got home from work. He had been digging for a concrete foundation, so he was covered from head to toe in dirt, but he was grinning from ear to ear. As he walked in, something his wife did caught me by surprise. Instead of acting like his mother or jabbing at him about how "immature" men can be she smiled. Instead of complaining that he tracked some dirt inside, she laughed that he still liked to "play in the dirt." Instead of belittling him with some stereotype, she appreciated the difference between men and women. She showed respect.

This is not about hollowly saying "I respect you." This is about finding something specific that you respect in a guy, and appreciating that.

This is not really even about words, because guys read your nonverbal communication too. This is about speaking with your actions, and if necessary, using words as well.

If you're married, this is not about being respectful only when your husband does something worthy of respect, either. In fact, those times when he's lost without asking for directions, dripping in sewage from trying to fix a drain, striking out in sports, and depressed are exactly the times when he needs your respect the most. This is about trusting him enough to figure something out. You wouldn't want your husband to only love you when you're in a lovable mood. The same goes for your husband with respect.

This isn't about showing respect only when you're around other people, but nagging a guy incessantly when you're alone. Conversely, this isn't about saying respectful things when you're alone, but then belittling your husband when in public. This is also not about respecting him only when he's around, and then pointing out his faults behind his back. Eventually, he'll know. This is about being consistently respectful, no matter what situation you encounter.

This is not just about that guy that you like. If you flatter him, and belittle your dad behind his back, he has little reason to trust you. Instead, this is about dealing with half of the planet's population. This is about how you relate to your husband (if you have one), your boyfriend (if you have one), your dad, your brother, your son, and your guy friends (although your guy friends can easily get the wrong impression if you aren't interested in them).

Here's a little motivation: the more a guy sees that you respect him, the more he wants to act in a loving way toward you.

So go ahead, try a little respect, and see how men, guys, and boys respond!

Ok, now it's your turn!

Update from the Amazon

Right now I'm on my mission aviation internship with Asas de Socorro. I figured instead of spending hours writing back emails, you can read this post on your own free time! Here's some info in case you want to come down here yourself:

Brazil so far has actually surprised me in how many things are similar to the US. As far as what Brazilians wear, they dress like Americans in the summer. Usually the guys wear shorts (BTW - board shorts or some type of swim trunks will probably come in handy) during the day and pants at night. Body language is almost the exact same too, which helps with the sometimes crippling feeling of not knowing the language. Of course, there's a lot different here, and I'm getting used to some of it, so I might be forgetting a lot that I've observed, but here are some things that might help:

Water - most people I've talked to here said not to drink it from the tap. At restaurants that means if you ask for water (agua) they'll bring a bottle and charge you. The hangar has filtered water in big water coolers. O Ninho (the guest house I'm staying at here, but Ninho means nest) has a deep well, so the tap water here is fine to drink. You'll want to drink a lot here to keep yourself sweating and cooled off.

Food - There are two grocery stores within walking distance: one is two blocks away and the other is about five. Peanut butter is expensive here for some reason. There's plenty of really good Brazilian foods to try, along with some crazy fruits that are really hard to find in the US. The bigger market here in Manaus is about 20-30 minutes by car from here, and I was only driven past it.

The hangar - Right now we're waiting on a big importation of aircraft parts from the U.S. That means in the meantime I've been doing things like getting an overhead hoist ready to be welded, sanding and painting a cabinet, and helping here and there with a 100-hour aircraft inspection. We have work to do at the hangar, but I've remained pretty flexible about what I'm working on. That's one thing I'm really learning from the Brazilian aircraft mechanics... being tranquilo. I've seen my American tendency to get frustrated when I don't know what work to do. This past week I've been chilling out a little enough to enjoy the view while I'm waiting for my next project.

Weather - It's hot (80 - 105 F) and humid here every day, and it hasn't gotten cold at night yet. I've slept every night with the A/C on (no, Brazilians in the city don't live in grass huts). During the evening it cools down enough to eat outside comfortably, especially if there's a breeze. When it rains here, it pours, but so far it's only rained 1 or 2x a week (dry season). If you visit, bring stuff that dries fast.

As far as stories go, I got to copilot for two days of flight a couple of weekends ago. One day we flew some Brazilian congressmen and senators commercially (tent making to subsidize the cost of fuel for the missionaries). I felt super embarrassed as I threw out ropes from the Caravan's floats, only for them to wad up and fall in the water five feet short of the guys waiting for them on shore. The next day we flew some pastors from Sao Paulo into the Indian village of Mapuera. 990 people live there, and we shook hands with about 900 of them for the welcome ceremony. The Indians in Mapuera have the full Bible in their native tongue, and now they want other tribes to know about the good news of God's love!

Jet-Lagged

Somewhere between Chicago and Miami.

Just thought I'd post something before I make my first official stop in São Paulo, Brazil. At this post I was safe and in one piece in Miami International Airport, and I haven´t lost any luggage! I should be arriving in Manaus on Monday, June 23rd, and for the time I´m there this number should work to get ahold of me: (92)3646-0882. I love you all!

Serving on the Amazon this Summer!

Above: A Cessna Caravan used by Asas de Socorro to fly missionaries along the Amazon. (Photo courtesy Darrel Carver.)

To my friends and family,

I’m very excited to show you an opportunity God has opened in Brazil! From mid-June to mid-August, I plan on serving as a short-term missionary—cleverly disguised as an aircraft mechanic on the Amazon River.

God has been preparing me for service while I study to be a missionary pilot/mechanic at Moody Aviation in Spokane, WA. Although I won’t graduate from Moody until 2011, I can still serve as a missionary and a mechanic now.

The organization I’ll be helping this summer is called Asas de Socorro (Portuguese for “Wings of Help”). It was founded by Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF), and now it’s run by believers within Brazil itself. Asas flies doctors, nurses, dentists, church planters, and other missionaries into the Amazon interior, extending the reach of the gospel to some of the most inaccessible areas of the globe.

Basically, I would be helping keep Asas’s planes—and, more importantly, the people on board—flying this summer. Additionally, I can be a helping hand in whatever outreaches Asas is doing in their immediate community.

On top of the opportunity to serve, this will also be my first missions trip! I hope to take lots of pictures and bring you back plenty of stories from the field!

In His Hands,

Jonathan

Top 3 Ways You Can Help

3. Financially — As of right now, I have about half of my support raised to cover my plane tickets, passport, visa, and immunizations… about enough to actually enter the country. I still need support for rent, transportation, and food while I’m there.

2. Communication — I’d love to hear how you’re doing while I’m gone! Shoot me an email, or if you’re really feeling old school, buy an international stamp and send me a letter while I’m there (June 19 to Aug 21):

Jonathan Schultz

Rua dos Japoneses, 320A

Shangri-La 2, Pq 10 Manaus

1. Prayer — More than anything else, please ask God to use me for His kingdom’s work!

Brazil Summer '08?

I realize this is very late in the game to really be pursuing this, but I could use your prayers about serving an internship on the Amazon River in Brazil this upcoming summer. If this is in God's will and I can get things in order, I would be going down there for eight or nine weeks with Asas de Socorro, a fully Brazilian missionary flight organization. Among other things, they fly missionaries and Christian professionals into the Amazon interior.

Basically, I'm asking God for wisdom as to whether this is His will for this summer. If He lays it on your heart, please remember me in your prayers.

Grand Canyon, AZ.

Well, I don't really have time to update on all that's been going on in the past couple of months, so I'll just let the pictures from the road trip do the talking:

Grand Canyon, AZ


Road trip comrades. From left: Bryan Dueck, Jonathan de Jongh, Luke Eckhoff, and me. Zion National Park, UT.


AZ Mining and Mineral Museum, Phoenix, AZ.


Too bad I can't afford the book...


Apache Junction, AZ. We figured we needed to get pictures of cacti in their natural habitat.


An Arizona sunset. Taken in my car in Glendale.


Hugging a palm tree at ASU. Oh how I miss it!

It's not Rocket Science...

...but it is Rocket Engineering. Some of you might be wondering what I'm doing with my life right now, besides school. Right now, I'm blessed to be employed at a place called Rocket Engineering, where I get to help "soup up" airplanes! We take Beechcraft Dukes and Bonanzas, as well as Piper Malibus (all piston-engined aircraft) and convert them to turboprops! For example, the Beechcraft Duke starts with two 380 hp piston engines. We remove them, and fit the aircraft with a pair of Pratt & Whitney PT-6 engines, each generating 550 hp. The aircraft's performance jumps through the roof! Our converted plane is then called a Royal Turbine.

Beechcraft Duke before conversion, with dual 380 hp piston engines still mounted.


Beechcraft Duke (now a Royal Turbine) after conversion to dual 550 hp engines. Everything from the firewall forward is converted.

The Price of a White Christmas

So there are some things that are really cool about a white Christmas:
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-Your brother might do something crazy...

















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...like jump on the trampoline...






















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...in his shorts...






















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-Everything around the house looks amazing...






















______________________________
...especially when the blizzard is blowing snow...

















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Unfortunately, these kind of blizzards can lead to cabin fever...






















______________________________
...family that can't get home for Christmas, and obnoxiously slow-loading blogs.

Enjoy your white Christmas if you have it, and enjoy your family actually being there if you don't!

When Capitalism Works

Today I volunteered to have my flight to Colorado for Christmas bumped back one day. Amount I was reimbursed: $400 voucher towards a plane ticket, $90 hotel stay, $26 in meal vouchers. I believe that's the most I've ever earned in a day!

How to Make a Good Landing

Be sure you evenly distribute the weight onto both wings of the aircraft

If there's one thing harder than landing on a rough back-country airstrip, it's landing on a rough back-country airstrip in a tractor plane with four of your friends holding on for dear life --- especially when you aren't in the cockpit. So I've developed a foolproof method to land in the most rugged terrain, even when your friends are hanging on the wings like a pack of apes:

1. Scream. It always seems to even out the group's collective anxiety level. If you're getting scared, so should everyone else.

2. Deflate your tires. Or in this case, take them completely off. Usually the friend that's hanging closest to the landing gear can reach down there and remove them comfortably in flight (if you forgot to do this before you took off).

3. Balance the weight of your entire party on the aircraft. If one of your passengers hops on the right wing, hop on the left wing. This is just common sense.

4. Take it slow. The slower your landing, the better the pictures come out later.

5. Use your flaps. Here, for instance, you and your friends' legs act as the plane's control surfaces. So stick out your legs and start moving (note: swimming flippers come in useful at this time as well).

This kind of landing obviously takes some practice, but with these tips you'll be well on your way to being the best bush pilot out there.

Raising Awareness of our Awareness

Today I'm committed to raising awareness that we have enough awareness-raising campaigns. How much more information do Americans need to have before we help someone? How many more people do we need to interview to before we do something? How many more books do we need to read? The more news Americans get about people dying and starving in some third-world country, the more we callous our feelings to the brutalities of life.

Our issue isn't a lack of information, it's a lack of care.

I'll take one person who actually does something to help in a crisis over a dozen who "raise awareness" from the comfort of their computer chair.

Jazz

"These artists," my Jazz in America professor declared, "brought Postmodernism into the realm of Jazz. By looking to earlier pieces and interpreting them in different ways, they were pushing the limits of artistic expression even further than before."

My professor was arguing that Jazz had become Postmodern, and therefore "different" Little of what he said was a declaration of right and wrong... it was mostly just "different". That day in class, I discovered how Postmodernism entered not only Jazz, but the Bible as well.

The connection between Postmodernism, Jazz, and the Bible is difficult to see, but let's look first at the root of the problem: the synthesis viewpoint. Instead of clearly defining art and claimed fact, we became lazy and decided to label the Bible as art. Of course, the Bible is art, but it is also much more. It contains claims of fact (Jesus was born in Bethlehem, Noah built an ark, etc.), and not just poetic maxims. Put another way, art and claims of fact are intertwined in the Bible, but we got sloppy and started calling it all art. We synthesized art and claims of fact, because we didn't want to deal with the details.

But then came a new artistic school of thought --- Postmodernism. Now art could be redone in interesting and different ways. This is the relatively benign side of Postmodernism, because art --- in and of itself --- is neither moral nor immoral. Jazz might sound good to one person, and bad to another, but a combination of notes is not intrinsically good or bad. This is just preference.

The problem, however, is that this rationale was applied to everything defined as art. Since we had squeezed the Bible into the same overarching definition as Jazz, we could treat them in similar ways. We could redo a Jazz piece until it sounded nothing like the original, just as we could reinterpret a Bible passage until it was dissected beyond recognition. After all, if both Jazz and the Bible are both simply "art" and nothing else, then we can redo them so they sound good to today's tastes.

But the Bible is something else. After a few years, we had forgotten about the Bible's claims of fact. Actually, we went a step further in our reinterpreting, this time purposefully reinterpreting the definition of art to include the whole of the Bible --- including its claims of fact. Thus, we sealed the argument shut, paving the last brick of logic on a road of circular reasoning.

Once we connected Postmodernism, art (represented here by Jazz), and the Bible, we had free reign to subject the Bible to our preferences. We saw no difference between ignoring the Bible and deciding not to attend a concert. Both actions, in our minds, reflected personal preference and nothing more. What were morals? We thought of people making moral claims in regard to life's decisions like we thought of people making moral claims about which combination of notes is better. They were "moldy figs," and would simply have to adapt to society's changing preferences.

The church is partially to blame for this comparison. How many times have we heard congregations claim things like, "I can't believe they're playing rock music... in church!" We stroke our musical style of preference to the point where we say other genres are morally wrong. WE might think it's wrong to use a guitar, or a banjo, or a sax, or an organ in church music, and we'll go as far as splitting a church over a musical genre. I've heard it countless times:
"That music is too loud!"
"Didn't the music today sound... old?"
"Ugh, the church shouldn't give in to the world by using their beats."

Give me a break! Rarely do I hear something like:
"That song taught the wrong message," or
"That song contradicts the Bible in this verse here."

One side has constrained the Bible to the definition of art. The other has claimed moral superiority simply by timbre and rhythm.

Both sides have obscured the truth.

Do you think you're above all this musical judgment? Let time prove it. Most likely, the church will start using rap for its worship songs next. Does that irk you? Maybe you already like rap, so it isn't a problem, but worship leaders will use some style you don't like soon enough. What will you do then?

The 100 Stages of Relationships

Some of you wanted to see this. For those of you that didn't, my apologies. One of my best friends --- Michael Wolford --- and I wrote these stages out last December. Here goes nothing.

The 100 Stages of Relationships
Michael Wolford and Jonathan Schultz

Preface
“I think there are 20 stages to relationships.”
This sentence, uttered by one of author Michael Wolford’s “Interpersonal Communications" classmates, sparked inspiration. “I always thought there were just three,” he replied, “dating, engagement, and marriage.”
Little did he know the depth of relationship stages he had undergone. The stages listed in this publication reflect years of field experience, pick-up lines, shutdowns, and repetition. Read on if you dare.

"Friend of a Friend"
1. Nothing
2. Seeing them on facebook.com
3. Actual visual sighting
4. Getting within 10 yards
5. Asking/paying/threatening a friend to introduce you

Acquaintance
6. Meeting them
7. Changing your routine to “run into them”
8. Paying attention to hygiene (and making sure your fly is up)
9. Practicing conversations
10. Dousing yourself with urine (like a male elk, to smell sweeter to the opposite sex)
11. “Running into” them
12. Talking about school/work/weather (non-meaningful conversation… Boring!!!)
13. Talking about sports and realizing you’re a moron
14. Getting their phone number and waiting at least ten minutes
15. Calling them and hanging up when their dad answers
16. Using a voice-altering machine to leave a voice message
17. Getting their email
18. Flooding their inbox with forwards about “what friends are,” “Touched by an Angel” being canceled, and amputees who will magically get money when you send the forward on, as well as forwards about Microsoft paying $250 for every time the forward is passed on
19. Seeing them somewhere other than work, school or the place you met them
20. Having a mutual acquaintance invite them on a group outing
21. Trying to make them jealous by hanging out with someone else
22. Ignoring them at above group outing
23. Pretending like you didn’t ignore them at above group outing
24. Getting angry when you see someone of your same gender getting within 10 yards of them
25. Sending mixed messages
26. Going on a second group outing with them
27. Approaching them
28. Spitting when you talk
29. Talking to them for more than 1 minute
30. Practicing meaningful, non-spitting conversations
31. Having a meaningful, non-spitting conversation

Friend
32. Personally asking them on a group outing
33. Not asking when their birthday is
34. Missing their birthday
35. Asking when their birthday is, even though someone else told you already
36. Realizing your mistake, and asking what their middle name is
37. Talking about a memory from childhood
38. Asking them to do something cliché, like going out to coffee or the movies JUST THE TWO OF YOU, pretending that somebody else might join you
39. After whittling down the excuses, going on said cliché date

Dating (from the guy's perspective)/"Just friends" (from the girl's perspective)
40. Having an awkward silence
41. Avoiding another awkward silence, resorting to non-meaningful conversation (weather/school/work)
42. Dropping them off without walking them to their door
43. Exercising
44. Buying a book on conversation starters
45. Smiling whenever they look toward you
46. Waving at them when they wave at somebody behind you
47. Downplaying yourself for a second “meeting” (date from guys perspective)
48. They accept your invitation on a second “meeting”
49. Thinking that they like you
50. Becoming overconfident
51. If you go to the same class, looking over their homework and saying it’s “pretty good”
52. Telling them you cried during “A Walk to Remember”
53. Joining their church’s small group
54. Asking them where they see themselves in ten years
55. Suddenly changing your life’s plans when they tell you theirs
56. Noting how much you have in common
57. You both go home for Christmas Break
58. Calling them 2 days late to say "Merry Christmas"
59. Arrange your schedule so you are in at least 1 class together
60. Sitting three seats away in above class
61. Sitting next to them in above class
62. Practicing telling them that you’re interested
63. Getting advice
64. Planning the DTR (Defining The Relationship) conversation
65. Multiple failed attempts at said conversation
66. Having "The Conversation"
67. They say they want to be “just friends”
68. Having no idea what “just friends” means... assuming it’s good, but knowing it’s bad
69. Repeat steps 31-66 until success
70. Talking to her dad about your relationship, and her brother who happens to be a Navy SEAL

REALLY Dating, Possibly Courting (from the guy's perspective)/"Good Friends" (from the girl's perspective)
71. Who knows how but…. SUCCESS!!!
72. Using the word “we” a lot
73. Planning recreation/entertainment together
74. Friends use the word “leash” when talking about you and significant other, especially when they think you aren’t listening
75. Talking about marriage
76. Ring shopping for fun
77. Going to their house for a major holiday
78. Trying to find out their ring size by getting them ski gloves in the heat of summer
79. Realizing ski gloves don’t have a ring size
80. They tell one of their friends their ring size while in next room
81. Paying said informant a hefty sum
82. Working for 2 months to be able to buy a ring
83. Living on ramen noodles
84. Spending 2 months’ salary on a ring
85. Returning said ring
86. Working another month
87. Buying the ring previous informant said was “a better choice”
88. Practicing the official conversations with her parents and herself
89. Asking the parents for their blessing
90. Buying the parents something that costs another month’s salary
91. They grudgingly accept your generous offer
92. Multiple failed proposal attempts
93. Propose

Engagement (from both perspectives)
94. Somehow, she accepts
95. Setting a time/date/budget
96. Working like a banshee
97. Asking people to be your groomsmen/ bridesmaids, and offending all other friends
98. Inviting everyone your immediate family knows
99. Getting slashed with a hockey stick at your bachelor party

Marriage
100! Get married