If you could explain one thing to the opposite sex...

DISCLAIMER: This is intended to be a helpful learning experience for guys and girls. If you want to bash each other, your comments will be deleted.

If you could explain one thing to the opposite sex, what would it be? What would be helpful for the other gender to know?

I'll start it off.

Guys find it incredibly attractive when a girl admires and respects them. This is part of our downfall, because we're vulnerable to flattery. If you respect something about a guy, encourage him! If he enjoys something manly, appreciate it!

For example, I was at a couple's house right as the husband got home from work. He had been digging for a concrete foundation, so he was covered from head to toe in dirt, but he was grinning from ear to ear. As he walked in, something his wife did caught me by surprise. Instead of acting like his mother or jabbing at him about how "immature" men can be she smiled. Instead of complaining that he tracked some dirt inside, she laughed that he still liked to "play in the dirt." Instead of belittling him with some stereotype, she appreciated the difference between men and women. She showed respect.

This is not about hollowly saying "I respect you." This is about finding something specific that you respect in a guy, and appreciating that.

This is not really even about words, because guys read your nonverbal communication too. This is about speaking with your actions, and if necessary, using words as well.

If you're married, this is not about being respectful only when your husband does something worthy of respect, either. In fact, those times when he's lost without asking for directions, dripping in sewage from trying to fix a drain, striking out in sports, and depressed are exactly the times when he needs your respect the most. This is about trusting him enough to figure something out. You wouldn't want your husband to only love you when you're in a lovable mood. The same goes for your husband with respect.

This isn't about showing respect only when you're around other people, but nagging a guy incessantly when you're alone. Conversely, this isn't about saying respectful things when you're alone, but then belittling your husband when in public. This is also not about respecting him only when he's around, and then pointing out his faults behind his back. Eventually, he'll know. This is about being consistently respectful, no matter what situation you encounter.

This is not just about that guy that you like. If you flatter him, and belittle your dad behind his back, he has little reason to trust you. Instead, this is about dealing with half of the planet's population. This is about how you relate to your husband (if you have one), your boyfriend (if you have one), your dad, your brother, your son, and your guy friends (although your guy friends can easily get the wrong impression if you aren't interested in them).

Here's a little motivation: the more a guy sees that you respect him, the more he wants to act in a loving way toward you.

So go ahead, try a little respect, and see how men, guys, and boys respond!

Ok, now it's your turn!

Update from the Amazon

Right now I'm on my mission aviation internship with Asas de Socorro. I figured instead of spending hours writing back emails, you can read this post on your own free time! Here's some info in case you want to come down here yourself:

Brazil so far has actually surprised me in how many things are similar to the US. As far as what Brazilians wear, they dress like Americans in the summer. Usually the guys wear shorts (BTW - board shorts or some type of swim trunks will probably come in handy) during the day and pants at night. Body language is almost the exact same too, which helps with the sometimes crippling feeling of not knowing the language. Of course, there's a lot different here, and I'm getting used to some of it, so I might be forgetting a lot that I've observed, but here are some things that might help:

Water - most people I've talked to here said not to drink it from the tap. At restaurants that means if you ask for water (agua) they'll bring a bottle and charge you. The hangar has filtered water in big water coolers. O Ninho (the guest house I'm staying at here, but Ninho means nest) has a deep well, so the tap water here is fine to drink. You'll want to drink a lot here to keep yourself sweating and cooled off.

Food - There are two grocery stores within walking distance: one is two blocks away and the other is about five. Peanut butter is expensive here for some reason. There's plenty of really good Brazilian foods to try, along with some crazy fruits that are really hard to find in the US. The bigger market here in Manaus is about 20-30 minutes by car from here, and I was only driven past it.

The hangar - Right now we're waiting on a big importation of aircraft parts from the U.S. That means in the meantime I've been doing things like getting an overhead hoist ready to be welded, sanding and painting a cabinet, and helping here and there with a 100-hour aircraft inspection. We have work to do at the hangar, but I've remained pretty flexible about what I'm working on. That's one thing I'm really learning from the Brazilian aircraft mechanics... being tranquilo. I've seen my American tendency to get frustrated when I don't know what work to do. This past week I've been chilling out a little enough to enjoy the view while I'm waiting for my next project.

Weather - It's hot (80 - 105 F) and humid here every day, and it hasn't gotten cold at night yet. I've slept every night with the A/C on (no, Brazilians in the city don't live in grass huts). During the evening it cools down enough to eat outside comfortably, especially if there's a breeze. When it rains here, it pours, but so far it's only rained 1 or 2x a week (dry season). If you visit, bring stuff that dries fast.

As far as stories go, I got to copilot for two days of flight a couple of weekends ago. One day we flew some Brazilian congressmen and senators commercially (tent making to subsidize the cost of fuel for the missionaries). I felt super embarrassed as I threw out ropes from the Caravan's floats, only for them to wad up and fall in the water five feet short of the guys waiting for them on shore. The next day we flew some pastors from Sao Paulo into the Indian village of Mapuera. 990 people live there, and we shook hands with about 900 of them for the welcome ceremony. The Indians in Mapuera have the full Bible in their native tongue, and now they want other tribes to know about the good news of God's love!

Jet-Lagged

Somewhere between Chicago and Miami.

Just thought I'd post something before I make my first official stop in São Paulo, Brazil. At this post I was safe and in one piece in Miami International Airport, and I haven´t lost any luggage! I should be arriving in Manaus on Monday, June 23rd, and for the time I´m there this number should work to get ahold of me: (92)3646-0882. I love you all!